Here we are again. 100 mistakes, 20 lessons learned, and one more heart break to add to the list later. I know you are hurting, but there is a bright side. I know you get tired of people telling you “at least you learned a lesson”, but really you did. Every single time you go through this is makes you a better person. You are stronger because of this. You are wiser. The Gentleman taught you how to have more faith and not to stress out so much. Before you met him you were overwhelmed every day because of stress. He also taught you how to be more motivated. You’re not as naive. Now you know how to read between the lines to see if a man likes you or wants to have sex with you. Most importantly, he taught you you never have to settle! I think that’s the most important thing.
Before you met this man, you were in relationships, given they were long term relationships, and every time you weren’t given what you wanted or needed and ended up at some point or another entertaining other men. Not to say you cheated every time, not to say you are a whore, but you ended up at least mentally cheating because you weren’t there emotionally or physically with who you were with. There’s nothing wrong with that because you were in your early twenties. And now years later you know how to be in a monogamous relationship. You know not to settle. You know how a man has the ability to make you feel, and now moving forward you won’t settle for anything less. You know how to cut men off for the person you are with. And now you know if someone doesn’t do the things you want then to do or make you feel the way you’ve felt before times ten? It’s not for you. Don’t settle. We’ve spoke about this before, but it’s the most important lesson I’ve learned from my twenties so far so I want to share it with you. Do not settle for anyone.
Essentially, when you settle – you hurt people. When you try to make things work but it’s not working- you hurt people. When you keep talking to someone about the things that really bother you and they don’t change- you hurt people. You end up straggling off to another person who you can talk to or hang out with, a person who gives you what you’re not getting in your relationship. You hurt the person you love.
You have morals. You have standards. I am so proud of you for being so strong. I’m proud of the woman you are becoming. Even though it sucks now, sweet child, you are going to run into someone who gives you everything. The reason I know this was because The Gentleman gave you everything he possibly could. He treated you like a queen. Even though it wasn’t meant to be, you know what your standards are. You know what you want in a man and how you want to be treated.
After all is said and done- you’re young, beautiful, educated, and motivated; there is more fish in the sea, a few more heartbreaks, a lot more let downs before you meet the one. That’s okay. Enjoy your life. Do the things you want to do and focus in yourself in the meantime.